The past couple weeks, I feel as though my life has been filled with sadness and death. I have lost my beloved, long-time fur companion, Lola, a family member, and yesterday, a co-worker. In the depths of sorrow, I still feel that I find beauty in real-life moments. There is something beautiful about pain and loss.. because without ever experiencing love, no one would ever experience pain.
It is during times of sorrow that I cling most to my photography. I have discovered that I benefit most from shooting when it is for my personal reflection and use. I no longer look to photography as a means to make a living but rather look to my work as a means to bring me comfort.
It's a way to remember my life, the people in it and the memories created from all my experiences. During these fragile moments, I am no longer a professional photographer but rather consider myself more of an individual wanting to shoot what my heart feels.
When shooting as a professional, I can't always just shoot what the heart feels.. I must consider aesthetics of the image, technical perfection and client approval.
Yesterday afternoon, during my cousin's funeral.. I wasn't there as a professional but rather as a family member. I was there grieving the loss our family was experiencing, the only difference was I found comfort in my camera, observing others during grief and sorrow. It helped connect me to the moment of loss with others.
